Life Lessons From A Dormant Volcano
Do you ever look back on something and think to yourself, "How the fuck did I do that?!" Every time I look at this picture, it's the first thing that comes to mind.
On the day my now-husband, Kevin, took the above photo, we began the morning thinking we were going for a casual 3.5-mile walk in the woods. I quickly learned that this was NOT the case. It ended up being the day we unintentionally climbed to the top of Nevado de Colima, a 14,000ft dormant volcano in Mexico.
To put that in perspective, that would be like waking up one morning and deciding to climb Mt. Whitney in California or Mt. Rainier in Washington!
It's just something you WOULDN'T typically do unless you were completely prepared.
To set the scene for you, we were coming off a terrible eight-day stomach bug. We didn't have enough food or water on our hike. We covered 4,000ft in elevation in less than two miles. The trail was not marked and had no switchbacks; the "trail" was straight-up volcanic gravel and old lava rocks that slipped beneath your feet.
Up, up, up we go!
In my head - I was checking out! I wanted to give up, throw in the towel, turn around, cry, scream, and throw a tantrum on the side of a cliff. This hike was challenging, and I didn't want to do it.
The last straw came when the last bit of the hike turned into a scramble -- we were now using our feet and hands to get to the top. The first couple of steps I took and the rocks below my feet went tumbling down the mountain.
I started to bawl my eyes out as I was clinging to the side of this volcano. I refused to go any further. I was giving up.
Kevin wasn't buying into my meltdown - so he pressed on (this wasn’t the first time I had struggled on a hike — and it wouldn’t be the last). The locals, who were in full climbing gear, were passing me too.
Seriously, this is what we had to climb up!
After about 5 minutes of hysterical crying, I could see that I was only about ten minutes from the top. So, after my cliffside cry, I decided to suck it up and press on.
I eventually MADE IT TO THE TOP.
Don’t let this smile fool you, it was a serious “fake-it” kind of photo op.
Usually, I would feel elated, excited, accomplished, proud, etc. Not this time; this day had physically and mentally drained me. Honestly, going down was even worse. I fell about seven times because my legs were so exhausted.
It took me almost a year to look back on this moment with joy and laughter. It also took me nearly a year to learn from the experience.
In my life, whenever things tend to get hard, my initial thought is "F THIS." For so much of my life, this pattern was continually coming up for me. In relationships, friendships, conversations, jobs, you name it. I just thought if something wasn't coming naturally or easy, it must not be right. So I would bounce!
I always had one foot out the door looking for my next move. I’m forever grateful to my therapist who pointed this out to me! He was 100% correct!
Even as that new revelation was at the forefront of my mind, I knew I still had a lot to learn (I’ll save that for another blog). Through the years, I've learned that some things take work, time, love, and patience!
For the record, I think it's healthy to identify things in life that don't serve you and walk away in a powerful way -- but in my life, I was using this as an escape route; it was my trump card.
It’s certainly something I'm not perfect at even as I run my own business - I can't tell you how many times I've thought about throwing in the towel because newsflash Lindsey, it's not easy being an entrepreneur!
So, I have printed out this picture, and I've stuck it on my desk. It's a constant reminder not to give up, that life is hard - but beautiful, that it's okay not to know where you're going, EVEN if it means you have to have a breakdown (or three) along the way.
If you're struggling in certain areas of life, my hope is this post will remind you that everything will be okay and not to give up just because it's challenging. Eventually, you'll get through it, and look back on these times in wonderment, and think, "How the F did I do that?" And I PROMISE you'll be wiser for the times.
This was a shot of the top of Mt Colima from our campsite. We jokingly renamed it Mount Crumpit (from The Grinch). We literally had NO idea that you could climb to the top of it — and we had no idea we would be doing it the NEXT day!